So, for those of you who do not know much about my experience with depression, I will give you a quick little overview. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder close to a year ago now. One of the ways that I chose to cope or maybe not to cope with my depression was by cutting and other self harm.
I spent many of my days during this time obsessing over ways to kill myself. I would think about close to all the time some days. I just simply did not want to exist anymore. I didn’t trust myself and did not think that anyone else should trust me either. My life was literally down in the dumps.
I had a couple really close friends who were extremely helpful for me. They literally saved me numerous times from myself. I can never thank them enough for being there and for helping me. I can also never thank my Savior enough and my Heavenly Father enough for putting them into my life when I needed them the most.
There were many nights where I was very close to killing myself or cutting more. I longed for comfort and acceptance. I was scared of myself sometimes. It was at these moments, sometimes in the middle of the night or at two or three in the morning that I would either call or text my best friend who lived in the apartment just below mine.
She would ever answer and her roommate would be right there to help me as well. My best friend would come upstairs and help me bring my stuff for the night down to their apartment. We would then take the couch cushions off of the couch and bring them to their room. I would sleep on the couch cushions lined up between their two beds.
They were there for me. They helped to protected me against myself. They would answer a call at the most inconvenient times. They simply loved me. They loved me as Christ loves. They protected me as our Heavenly Father protects. They were there to support me and to guide me even when I thought I knew what was best for me and when I rebelled against their help, care, and guidance.
These nights truly were safety sleepovers for me. They kept me safe. They took me in. I am ever grateful for them.
There is good in people. And there are people out there who need your help. They do. I love this quote by Jeffrey R. Holland (speaking of conference and hearing the words of the Lord):
“Each of these conferences marks a call to action not only in our own lives but also on behalf of others around us, those who are of our own family and faith and those who are not…As surely as the rescue of those in need was the general conference theme of October 1856, so too is it the theme of this conference and last conference and the one to come next spring. It may not be blizzards and frozen-earth burials that we face this conference, but the needy are still out there–the poor and the weary, the discouraged and downhearted, those “(falling) away into (the) forbidden paths” we mentioned earlier, and multitudes who are “kept from the truth because they know not where to find it.” They are all out there with feeble knees, hands that hang down, and bad weather setting in. They can be rescued only by those who have more and know more and can help more. And don’t worry about asking, “Where are they?” They are everywhere, on our right hand and on our left, in our neighborhoods and in the workplace, in every community and county and nation of this world. Take your team and wagon; load it with your love, your testimony, and a spiritual sack of flour; then drive in any direction. The Lord will lead you to those in need if you will but embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ that has been taught in this conference. Open your heart and hand to those trapped in the twenty-first century’s equivalent of Martin’s Cove and Devil’s Gate. In doing so we honor the Master’s repeated plea on behalf of lost sheep and lost coins and lost souls.”
Let us reach out to others and accept the love and the help that others want to share with us.