Category Archives: Depression


Because He Lives!!!


Once upon a time there was a girl or you could say a young woman, or perhaps even a woman named Amy…oh, wait that’s me. Yes this is a true experience about me.

I met an amazing man and we began dating in a way… He lived in France and I live in the United States. We would Skype or make video calls to each other whenever we could and we would send long emails every day. It was wonderful. I began to really love him, or at least I considered it love. He was so very nice and caring. I told him about my struggles with depression and how my arms were full of scars, and he looked past those struggles I had and looked forward with hope for the future.

We began talking more about actually meeting each other. We expressed our feelings for each other and loved talking of our possible future together.

At this point, I wanted to be completely honest, not that I wasn’t before…I just wanted to share everything about myself with him. So, I told him about an addiction that I struggled with and how deeply I feared rejection from others.

When I told him of this addiction, he said he would like to help but followed it up with if I knew anyone other woman where I lived that would like him…basically asking me to set him up with one of my friends.

I responded by saying that I was sorry he felt that way and apologized for my shortcomings, but that I would not just pass him on to another one of my friends here in the U.S. He was simply just not the man for me.

I was heartbroken and depression seemed to start seeping in again. I reverted back to my addiction, which I had been clean of for close to eight weeks. This ended up making me feel even worse. After a few weeks, I even went to send him another email telling him how much I missed him, but after reading his final email to me, decided against it. I really hope that he is doing well.


Over time, a couple of months, I learned to lean more heavily on my Savior for help and support. I have been learning to be more humble and pure. I have been attending addiction recovery meetings to help with my addiction.

Basically I have learned that ALL is possible through the Savior. I have been trying to trust in Him and His plan for me more and more…which is definitely not always easy.

I know that my Savior lives and that because He lives I can live again, I can live now. Because He lives, I can truly be happy even amidst hard and challenging times in my life. Oh how I do miss the love that comes from being in a relationship with someone you believe truly cares about you, who you believe you could spend forever with.

But I know that the Lord has felt those same feelings that I have felt and that because He lives I can have hope in my life for a better future, for a clean life from addiction, for the strength to keep going in hard times, for so, so much more.

I hope you enjoy the song/video by Sally Deford. It is one of my favorites. What can you do or believe or feel in your life because the Savior lives?




Addictions are not easy things to overcome.  If you have ever been addicted to anything before, you would know.  When I was struggling with depression, I started cutting myself.  At first I did it so that I would kill myself.  Then, it turned into an addiction for me.  It helped to relieve all of the pain I was feeling inside.  There is always a reason for the addiction, but that reason is not worth the price of the soul.  Our soul is worth so much more.

There is a way out though, and that is the Savor.  We can let go of our addictions and put them at the feet of the Savior.  He will heal us.  He will free us, and He does.

Suffering in Silence

easter he is risen greg olsen

Do you ever feel like you are suffering in silence? Has a loved one just died and no one really seems to understand? Have you just not been able to be happy lately? Or perhaps no one really seems to be your friend…

Recently, I have felt this way. That is I have felt that I am suffering in silence. I don’t want people to know how I am really doing. I am supposed to be happy, right? Today I went to the pharmacy to pick up some medicines that I sent a prescription request to my psychiatrist, but they denied the refill… I just came home and cried. I have an appointment on the third, which really isn’t that far away, but it is that much longer of me not feeling up to par and having to ‘act’ my way through. Good thing I took acting classes in college…

But honestly, we do not need to suffer in silence. I have felt the love of God. He will help and direct us. He sent His Son to die for us not only to forgive us of our sins but to heal us from our hurt and pain. He loves us. He is truly there for us.

This movie has been more than inspiring to me. I hope you also enjoy. There are still happy moments in life. I know that God lives and that He is there for us so that we do not need to suffer in silence.

He Knows You


Heavenly Father knows you. The closer you get to Him, the closer He gets to you. I know that as you study and pray, He is there for you. He listens to your pleas. He has listened to mine repeatedly. In my struggle with depression and doubt, I know I have been strengthened to get through, to endure, as I have studied my scriptures and prayed to my Father in Heaven.

I used to cut and burn myself when I was really depressed. As I have been faithful in studying, the Lord has strengthened me and I do not have the desire that I did before to do those things. I know that my body is a temple of the Lord and that His Spirit lives in me.

He wants to be close to you. You just need to let Him in.

Where are we going anyway?

I love how the little girl in this picture is touching the scar on Christ's hand.  He has repeatedly shown His love to us.  He knows us personally and has gone through all that we have gone through because of the atonement.  I am so grateful for my Savior.

I love how the little girl in this picture is touching the scar on Christ’s hand. He has repeatedly shown His love to us. He knows us personally and has gone through all that we have gone through because of the atonement. I am so grateful for my Savior.

Have you ever wondered where you are goiong in life? If your life even has a purpose? Or what’s the point of even being here? I know I have…And I have found comfort in the Lord’s plan of salvation. I have found comfort and answers in His scriptures. He does love us and He has a plan for each one of us. As we listen to the Holy Spirit, we can be assured that what we are doing is following the Lord’s plan for us.


God knows what He wants us to be… sometimes we have tears on our side.

As Simple as a Smile

People NEED you. Did you know that? People need to hear of your struggles and know of your successes in life. Life is such a precious gift… and this comes from one who has tried to take her own life before…It is a precious gift. I am so grateful to be alive today because of Christ and because of the smiles that I received and the love I have felt from others.

Christ is holding you. He understands. He knows.