This song reflects how I often feel.
I have been ‘healthy’ from depression for at least six months now, and I am truly grateful for my Savior. I have not cut myself for six months and hope that I will never go back to that again, but I will always have the reminder of what I have gone through from the scars on my arms.
I hope that you can find peace and solace from this song as I often do, no matter what you are facing.
What things have you overcome in your life? What helped you through?
Recently I have been pondering how I was able to make it through severe trials and deep, consuming depression in my life. How was I able to make it from one day to the next when all I wanted to do was die? Or lie in my bed and do nothing? How did I make it? How did I get through the day, the hour, or the minute?
While I admit that I tried some things that did not really help me, there were some things I did that did help. The things that did help me during these times brought me closer to my Savior.
I would read His words. I would read books written by those who taught and preached of Christ. A couple I especially liked were: “God Wants a Powerful People” by Sheri Dew and “Standing For Something” by President Gordon B. Hinckley. Their words comforted me and reminded me of who I could turn to for true comfort and peace.
The Savior is there for each of us. He has felt our pains and afflictions. I know that as I experience hard times in my life I can turn to Him and to His words to provide me with comfort, peace, and love. Hard times do not and will not last forever. Our Heavenly Father desires our happiness. As we give our burdens over to the Lord we are made lighter and we are better able to live our lives.
I know that through remembering the Lord in all we do, we can come closer to Him and we can make it through our trials. I was able to get through because of Christ. I know that you can as well.
Posted in Life
Tagged Christ, comfort, depression, faith, hope, Life, love, Peace, Reading, scriptures, Sorrows, trials
While I was going through some extremely rough times in my life that made me feel like I no longer wanted to exist, I loved turning to my God for comfort through the scriptures. I love this verse found in the Book of Mormon in 2 Nephi 8:12:
“I am He, yea I am He that comforteth you. Behold who art thou, that thou shouldst be afraid of men, who shall die, and of the son of man, who shall be made like unto grass?”
I know that you too can find comfort in the scriptures if you allow the spirit of the Lord to touch your hearts.
Heavenly Father, Are you really there?
As a child, and even sometimes not as a child, we wonder if there really is a God in heaven. We wonder if Heavenly Father is really there. We wonder if He really does answer our prayers and pay attention to us. I believe that even the most devout Christians have had times where they have contemplated and pondered these thoughts.
I know that I have at times. I have especially when I am about to pray and when I am striving to make my prayers more sincere. Am I really talking to someone? Yes! And He cares! He answers!
A Child’s Prayer
When I was a child and went to church, one of the songs the children would sing is A Child’s Prayer. This used to be one of my favorite songs to sing at church. It touches on so many of the thoughts that many of us have concerning our Heavenly Father and heavenly home. The lyrics are as follows:
“Heav-en-ly Fa-ther, are you real-ly there? And do you hear and an-swer ev-‘ry child’s prayer? Some say that heav-en is far a-way. , but I feel it close a-round me as I pray. Heav-en-ly Fa-ther, I re-mem-ber now. Some-thing that Je-sus told dis-ci-ples long a-go: “Suf-fer the chil-dren to come to me.” Fa-ther, in prayer I’m com-ing now to thee.
Pray, he is there; Speak, he is lis-t’ning. You are his child; His love now sur-rounds you. He hears your prayer; He loves the chil-dren. Of such is the king-dom, the king-dom of heav’n.”
What thoughts have you had concerning God or your Father in Heaven? What thoughts does this song bring to your mind? How can you have a greater testimony of the reality of God?
I know that my Father in Heaven is really there. He does really answer every one of my prayers. I have felt His love and it does surround you. He loves you and He does answer your prayers. He is there. He waits to hear from you.
Posted in Direction, Life
Tagged children, comfort, direction, doubts, faith, happiness, Heavenly Father, hope, Life, Peace
The Lord is my life and my light. He is the way.
When I was going through and dealing with Major Depressive Disorder this past year, I came to the realization that depression can consume individuals. I became a person who was unlike myself. I did not want to do things that I loved doing and I did not really like being around people anymore.
How does one break free from this all consuming illness? How does one break free from the hard times he/she experiences in life? How does one endure to the end through the storm?
The Savior, Jesus Christ
I cannot repeat enough how much the Savior was my light in my darkest hours. The Savior is the way out. In the New Testament in John 14:16 it says:
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”
The Lord is the way out of our darkness and hard times. He is the source of our comfort and relief. Similarly, the Lord has promised in John 8:12:
“He that followeth me, shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”
This is not to say that we will never have trials or tribulation as we follow the Savior, but that through those trials and tribulation we will still have light and hope because we are following the Savior, because He is our light and hope.
I love how clearly Elder Walter F. Gonzalez puts it in his talk “Followers of Christ.” He says:
“As Christ followed the Father under any circumstance, we should follow His Son. If we do so, it matters not what kind of persecution, suffering, grief, or ‘thorn in the flesh’ we face. We are not alone. Christ will assist us. His tender mercies will make us mighty under any circumstance.”
I have felt this in my Life
I have felt how true this is in my life. The Savior truly is our source of hope. Many times in a dark night or in a dreary, lonely, solemn afternoon lying in bed, He would be the only one whom I could turn to who truly could understand. He knows each of us personally. He comforts us and helps us endure our trials and helps us rise above them. He truly gives us rest. He has given me rest numerous times in my struggles through life. I am forever grateful for His great love to me. I love my Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ. I always want to follow them, for they are my life.
Posted in Life, Peace
Tagged Christ, comfort, depression, happiness, hard times, hope, Life, limitations, Peace, scripture
Who makes your decisions?
Life for others.
My whole life I have basically lived for other people. I have never wanted to make people feel uncomfortable or unhappy. I would much rather be unhappy than having somebody else be unhappy. The thing I hate doing most is inconveniencing people.
I like making people happy. I always have. But there are dangers in living this kind of lifestyle. I have definitely learned as I have been going through life.
- Ignoring promptings of the Spirit: As a child, when I was around eight years old, I was invited to a friend’s house for a sleepover. I agreed to go, but I felt uneasy about it. I did not want to hurt my friend’s feelings or make her feel unhappy. As a result of ignoring a feeling from the spirit, I was left in a sticky situation. I ended up doing things that I never thought I would.
- Forgetting Heavenly Father: In college, when I was dating a particular boy, I wanted more than anything to make him feel happy. He made me feel good most of the time. The relationship progressed quickly and soon I was again doing things I never thought I would have because I wanted him to be happy. By doing this I ignored my Heavenly Father and what would ultimately make Him happy.
- Not relying on Christ: Another incidence in college was when I was dating a different boy. I also tried to make him happy. I obviously had not learned my lesson yet. In fact, I think I am still learning. I relied on him and we talked a lot. I loved it. I had a great friendship and I trusted him. But, people often fail you, and later we drifted apart. As a result we hardly talk anymore. We must remember to confide in the Savior. He will never leave us.
- Losing boundaries: By seeking only to please others, we sometimes lose sight of our boundaries, of what we will and will not do. This has happened at times as I have striven to make my friends happy and have them like me. The crossing of the boundaries that we used to have do not have to be large. Sometimes they are as simple as forgetting to say our prayers because we were up to late trying to help a friend.
As we continue to try and please other people, dangers can occur. If these dangers and warning signs are not recognized, we can end up in a completely different place than we planned on going. As we seek to please others and make them happy we are in essence allowing ourselves to be acted upon rather than deciding our own actions in life.
I have realized that as I have lived only to please others, I have never really been able to figure out who I am as an individual. I have always tried to play a part or a role. I tried to be the perfect student, who accomplished projects to teachers’ expectations. I tried to fit the role that each of my friends wanted me in. I tried to be a good daughter and sister. But I was forgetting a huge part.
I was forgetting to think about how Heavenly Father viewed me. Was I striving to please Him and make Him happy? or was I only trying to please my friends and other humans? Is this what you do?
Our self worth does not depend on how other people view us.
We are able to avoid dangers as we discover who we are as an individual. As we come to know and recognize that we are sons and daughters of God, we live better and more fulfilling lives. I was once told that:
“In the end what ultimately matters is whether or not you are making Heavenly Father happy. You are able to do this as you follow His will for you and Christ’s perfect example.”
That was huge for me. It was a completely new way of switching my mind around. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought that way before. It follows the two great commandments to first love God and then love your neighbor. Do we put Heavenly Father first in our lives?
I know that as we put Heavenly Father first in our lives and show our love to Him through obedience, we are able to avoid situations that we never thought we would find ourselves in. The things that have helped me to avoid the dangers of making other people happy have been:
- Putting Heavenly Father first
- Living in a way to have the spirit of the Lord
- Recognizing when I feel uncomfortable or uneasy and acting on the feeling appropriately
- Reading the scriptures daily
- Praying morning and night
- Making decisions and setting boundaries for myself early and sticking to them
- Relying on the Savior and His atonement.
I hope you know that your Heavenly Father does love you. He wants you to be happy. As we strive to make choices that please our Heavenly Father, we will ultimately be helping others to be truly happy as well. We do not need to trust in the arm of flesh. The Lord says this in 2 Nephi 8: 12 in the Book of Mormon:
“I am He; yea, I am He that comforteth you. Behold, who art thou, that thou shouldst be afraid of man, who shall die, and of the son of man, who shall be made like unto grass?”
The Lord loves you. He is the one who comforts you. He is the one who we are forever indebted to. Let us show our love to Him, by thinking first of Him as we make our decisions through life.
Posted in Direction, Happiness, Identity
Tagged boundaries, choice, Christ, comfort, danger, dating, decisions, direction, expectations, fear, forgetting, God, happiness, identity, Life, love, personal, popular, relationships, religion, scripture, Spirit, spiritual